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By King Douche | May 15, 2010
Saddle up for, perhaps, the most comprehensive aggregation of bullshit I have witnessed to date. Yes, I am talking about the Google Moderator for Video Questions page as part of The King’s new ongoing series where He repeatedly bashes dumbass questions. There is an endless supply of crap here and I intend to bask in the aura and the texture of this fragrant arsenal.
Let’s start off with a classic.
“I have a client who is absolutely convinced that if you pay people to sit at home and type in a search term, then find your website, and click on the link several hundred times, that this will boost their pagerank. Can you please debunk this myth?”
Aah yes, the Click Through Network strikes again foiling your analytics reports and Webmaster Tools stats. It’s a well organized consortium.
“With a lot of my potential clients, the first words out of their mouth when building a site is “can you make my site #1 on google?” This question is extremely annoying to me… how can I respond in a professional and honest manner?”
That’s not a question. It’s a sales barrier. Google can’t help you be a better SEO consultant.
“It’s not good for security when I have to ask clients to share their Google credentials with me so I can help edit their Google Places listings. Why doesn’t Google Places allow access by multiple users, like Google Webmaster Tools does?”
This isn’t a question. It’s a feature suggestion for a specific Google product. You want Matt Cutts to answer your question about Google Places and make a video about it, eh? Really?
“Why is Google just now supporting Flash? Is this a strategic move against competitors, or is there a brand new reason that makes Flash more search-friendly somehow?”
Dude, your question is about 6 years late. Google has been indexing flash content for sometime now.
“Sometimes, I get fake anti-virus (Fake AV) popups when surfing online. When I report these for spam and malware, does Google respond to this quickly? Recently I had several of these popups on the same Google SERP and wondered how to remove them fast.”
So you see, on EVERY SINGLE GOOGLE search page, “Give us feedback
” and you are still confused?
“Does adding “rel = canonical” tags actually increase a sites pagerank? Or does it just help to avoid confusion within SERPs?”
Everyone knows that rel=”cannon” is the preferred usage method for this attribute. What an idiot!
…and the number 1 dumbass question presented (among several dumbass questions among several by this user) by Land Lubber
“Do you penalize sites that stuff keywords in the page and hide them by setting them margin-left -9000px off the page? If so, why do so many sites do this? Was this an old blackhat trick?”
You can submit your own question for possible video review and bashing for May 2010 at this page.
or in the future at this page.
Topics: Myths and Crap | 1 Comment »