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SEO Village Idiot; The Dunning-Kruger Effect

By Barry | February 10, 2011

This week someone sent me a SEO site audit report written by a UK online marketing company for a big UK retail brand. I enjoy taking a peek in the competition’s kitchen now and then, so I dug in straight away.

Seven pages in to this 66-page report I realised that these guys weren’t really competition. The report was so chock full of disinformation, ignorance, and random stupidity that any SEO work they end up doing is likely to be of pretty abysmal quality.

But I’m still bloody annoyed. Annoyed that witless chimps like that get to write site audits for big UK brands. It’s testimony to the FUD surrounding SEO – as well as the general ignorance about SEO pervasive in the corporate world – that clueless halfwits manage to talk big corporate management types in to buying their services.

SEO Village Idiot; The Dunning Kruger Effect

A Look Inside a Useless SEO Audit

So what exactly did this report contain? Let’s take a look:

Fairly early in the document, in the context of competitive analysis, it says that the amount of results that Google says it’s found for a given query is an indicator of how competitive that query is.

Really? It’s a pretty piss-poor indicator, if you ask me. Sure, you can use it as one aspect of broader competitive analysis, but the report does no such thing – it mentions this metric right at the start of its competitive analysis section, and doesn’t do much to put it in its proper context. Which is pretty fucking stupid.

Secondly the report claims, straight-faced, that the links shown in Google Webmaster Tools show "the full range of backward links that Google has indexed". At which point I loudly proclaimed ‘GTFO’, to the amusement of my colleagues.

It gets better. Shortly after that proclamation, the report has the audacity to refer to "Google Page Rank" aka; toolbar pagearank, (yes that’s how they typed it) as a valid indicator of a site’s quality. Oh dear.

They go on with blowing shotgun-sized holes in their feet by referring to ‘inanchor:’ and ‘intitle:‘ search queries, implicitly assuming that the bullshit Google serves you on such queries is actually accurate:

"The fewer results that are returned for an ‘inanchor:’ search, the easier it should be to achieve high rankings for the keyword being analysed".

And it goes on and on… using the ‘site:’ command to measure indexation, recommending using the ‘title’ attribute on all links to improve SEO, using the ‘link:’ command as the primary method of finding sites that link to competitors, and recommending the site’s HTML code should be W3C valid. (They see the 20 validation errors on the site’s homepage as a strong indicator the code needs to be improved. Fuck off. 20 errors is about half of what I consider acceptable for large ecommerce sites like that one.)

 

Where’s the beef?

It’s not all bullshit of course, the report contains some actual useful tips. But not only is it immersed in such horrendous beginner errors, it also features some glaring omissions: nothing at all about site structure and semantic tagging – which for the site in question has huge potential – and nothing about the site’s dismal URLs either.

This sort of shit pisses me off to no end. It infuriates me that such uneducated ‘tards successfully manage to peddle their quackery to big companies. It’s not just the fact that they get paid to write uninformed shite like that – it’s the fact that they probably get away with it, time and again, because their clients simply don’t know any better.

The people who wrote that report probably consider themselves to be pretty clever, cutting-edge SEOs. And that, most of all, ticks me off, seeing the Dunning-Kruger effect in action.

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Topics: Business Bullshit, Reality Check | 44 Comments »

Posted on 10 February 2011 by Barry Adams

I once said that the Internet was "just a fad" and would "amount to nothing". I've since adjusted my opinion - somewhat. The Internet is polluted with lies, misinformation, ignorance, and plain old stupidity. I'm allergic to stupidity.

has written 2 articles for SEO Bullshit

  • http://www.BusinessCaffeine.com Rob Adler

    Oh wow. I don’t think I’ll be able to get a woody for a week after looking at that monstrosity of “work”. Busted.

  • Ben Maclay

    I have an idea who that SEO company might be – does their name start with D? just wondering if they are sending out the same reports as they did a few years ago…

  • http://www.rideboldly.org Julie

    While I was working at a Very Large Company with many divisions and many web sites, another group came to my group (which was a search marketing group) to evaluate the work of their SEO vendor.

    Among the documents given to us were ranking reports for HotBot.

    This was in 2009.

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    /facepalm

    I fully sympathise.

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    No, the company name starts with one of the other 25 letters of the alphabet. Not naming any names – yet. I might out them at some stage. Maybe.

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    I’m glad I could provide you with some measure of arousal, Rob. ;)

  • Ben Maclay

    not a problem – seriously thought I knew who it was, I have seen reports similar to the one you described :( – makes me want to cry!

  • http://www.justinparks.com Justin Parks

    I only wish I could submit a 5 page document at the same price/cost to the corporate type company and they would accept it… no wait..I do. Thats why they hate me. Corps are the reason for their own downfall as well. I have seen these massive reports detailing absolutely nothing… its sad.

    They expect reports to come back big and chunky and to be full fo magical terms and phrases. If not, they dont think you know what your talking about and cant help/do the job no matter what evidence to the contrary you put before them.

    Some people tell me that thats the way the game is played so play by the rules. Me? I say screw the rules. I wont play by them and waste my life doing it. If others will and have to to make the deal then I just feel pity that it seems to be the way the world works.

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    Yeah! Screw the rules! Fight the power! Rage against the machine!

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to flesh out 5 pages worth of useful info with corporate speak and numerous meaningless but pretty graphs to bulk it out to a sturdy 25 page report.

  • joolie

    Pro Tip: Add a GLOSSARY. That can add multiple pages! Especially at 13-point type.

  • http://www.justinparks.com Justin Parks

    Genius!

  • http://www.internetperformancegroup.com Chuck Topinka

    I used to work for a big consulting company (not naming names either). I seriously considered buying the boss a scale calibrated in dollars so he could determine the worth of a document. The more it weighs, the more it’s worth! At least it would be objective. He literally took a document in one hand and another document in the other once and proclaimed the heavier one “better.”

    Now we play hybrid. We dump a bunch of stuff out of a tool to provide mass, about 10 pages of boilerplate with a glossary, and top it off with a few pages of actual analysis.

  • http://www.idea-queen.com Kara

    I think I would have fell out of my chair laughing after reading the first part about the Google query. I forgot there was even a number there that shows how many results were returned. HAH!

  • Anonymous

    once again, spot-on Barry — I too have seen the same type of SEO audit, never at 66 pages, but still chock full of bullshit on page 1! idiots! but then again, many of these type of know-nothings have running big businesses as they attract clients who have nothing else to use to gauge the veracity of such a big report than the “heft” of same, eh…

    …sigh….

    :-)

    Jim

  • http://twitter.com/seomuscle Julien Berard

    Hey barry! You want ot ahve a big laugh! have a look at the audit made by one big SEO agency in France –

    The article about the horrendous document – http://www.laurentbourrelly.com/blog/854.php ( i Know it’s in french use a translator)

    The audit http://www.laurentbourrelly.com/documents/strategie-guidecasino.pdf

    NOTE: Not all SEO works like that in France OK! There are actually many good seos

  • Ani Lopez

    we should have some SEOleaks to post all this shitty reports including author’s and agency’s name for public ridicule as a compensation for the hours those impostors make good consultant invest convincing customers who have been deceived previously

  • BullshitWebsites

    Show me someone who calls him/herself a SEO expert and I will call him/her the biggest piece of BS

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    SEOleaks.com, now there’s a cool idea. “Outing the idiots for the greater good of the interwebz.”

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    Reading that blog post in English after it’s run through Google Translate actually helps its hilarity and comedy-value. :)

  • http://twitter.com/badams Barry Adams

    Aye that’s the common theme here, isn’t it? Crap begets more crap because the uninformed HiPPOs simply don’t know any better.

    Actually that pretty much describes the whole management book/speaking industry.

  • http://www.seoworkers.com Webnauts

    Barry do you know what did they charge for that report?

  • Boris Benz

    Big business is full of “idiots in charge”. Good news for small business owners who act smart when picking their SEO contractors. Good article, good writing.

  • Jasonbourne807

    SEO is total bull-crap. The search engines don’t want you at the top listing for an extended period of time, thus the programmatic changes every few months. The real reason for the changes to the algorithms is so you will be forced to advertise via PPC or some other scam that also doesn’t work at raising your bottom line. Remember PPC and advertising is how they make their money.

    Search engines rules makes everyone jump through hoops of fire, like a circus dogs, only to pull the rug out from under your feet after you have invested time and great expense. I don’t know anyone who can run a successful business where large amounts of man power hours and money are wasted on a big unknown factor or having an unreliable supplier. In any other industry a supplier company who acted the way search engines act would be shit canned and fast! I don’t know why do people keep throwing their money away? Maybe because they are of the mindset that, “I could hit the lottery if I keep playing”. BTW, it’s never going to happen!

    I have fallen victim to the BS rules delivered by the search engines. I followed all the SEO rules and worked tirelessly at it, nothing really worked that made financial sense. The so called SEO professionals are a complete and utter waste of time money and resources. A day is going to come when these individuals get sued for professional negligence, and the making of false advertising claims. I am sure that once enough people cry foul that the Attorney General will drag these low life dirt bags into court to stand tall before the black robes. I can hear them swallowing hard already!

    People, for the last three years I have not spent any money for internet advertising and my sales and business have more than quadrupled in size faster than trying to use the internet as an advertising source. I believe that PPC and advertising on the web will ultimately be a mirror image of the yellow page phone directories once delivered to your door. These books have shrunk is size by two thirds or more because no one is advertising in them. Eventually they will become unsustainable and disappear.

    All that I can say is reinvent your life/business and stop rewarding these entities who with no notice destroy what you have work hard at to build up. Search engines & SEO experts are not your friends. They only want your hard earned money.

  • Anonymous

    Ha ha:

    “People, for the last three years I have not spent any money for internet advertising and my sales and business have more than quadrupled in size faster than trying to use the internet as an advertising source.”

    and there we have it, one of the dumbest comments I have ever read, of course the internet is not an advertising source – lets all get back to post card marketing … f*ck me some people shouldn’t be allowed out of the house.

  • http://twitter.com/onlinedeal onlinedeal

    Sure how about Matt Cutts?

  • SC

    SEO – the Protection Racket of the New Millennium. What an utter fucking joke.

  • Anonymous

    The company name starts with one of the other 25 letters of the alphabet. Not naming any names – yet. I might out them at some stage. Perhaps.
    Motorcycle Accessories

  • Anonymous

    The company name starts with one of the other 25 letters of the alphabet. Not naming any names – yet. I might out them at some stage. Possibly.

    Motorcycle Accessories

  • Anonymous

    If not, they dont think you know what your speaking about and cant help/do the job no matter what facts to the contrary you put before them.

    Canada Drugs

  • Anonymous

    Thats why they detest me. Corps are the reason for their own downfall as well. I have seen these huge reports detailing absolutely nothing… its mournful.

    self catering cottages

  • Devi Redtroll

    So… why all the anger? If your competition are such complete idiots, doesn’t that just make attracting new clients that much easier? Write a critique of this “audit”, (preferably with a smaller amount of venom), send it to the big UK retail brand, convince them their current SEO experts is full of shit, and land the account for yourself!
    I doubt back in the 80′s Japanese automakers sat around bemoaning that American automakers churned out shit. They made better cars and beat them at their own game.
    So be thankful for shitty competitors. Thanks to them we have larger houses and better cars.

  • Anonymous

    Thats why they detest me. Corps are the reason for their own downfall as well. I have seen these large reports detailing absolutely nothing… its mournful.

    Kamagra

  • http://www.buyinggenericcialis.com/ generic cialis

    I don’t know why do people keep throwing their money away? Maybe because they are of the mindset that, “I could hit the lottery if I keep playing”. BTW, it’s never going to happen!

  • Anonymous

    I wish I could write five-page document at the same price and pay for capital company, and they accept it … do not wait .. I do not.

    Kamagra

  • Anonymous

    If others will & must to make the deal then I feel pity that it appears to be the way the world works.

  • Anonymous

    They do not think you know what your talking about and can help / do the job, no matter what the evidence to the contrary, to put before them.

    Office Furniture

  • Anonymous

    If other, and must do more then just sorry that it seems like the way the world works.

    Roll-up Doors

  • Anonymous

    I do not think he knows what he’s talking about and can not help do the job, no matter what the evidence against putting before them.

     Trademark watch

  • Anonymous

    They dont think you know what your talking about and cant help/do the
    job no matter what evidence to the contrary you put before them.
     
    Salvage Cars

  • BuyGiftsItems

    If others will and have to to make the deal then I just feel pity that it seems to be the way the world works.
    a deal a day

  • denzal wellington

    I do not know anyone who can run a successful business, in which large quantities of man-hours and money wasted on a big unknown factor, or a reliable supplier. Otherwise, the provider sector of society, which was how search engines work to be shit canned and fast.

  • http://simonhoare.be Simon Hoare

    Can’t argue with the facts, though. Jason has grown his business.

    Maybe the moral of the story is : tried and tested traditional marketing still works better than clueless internet marketing.

  • http://www.blogngp.com/ BlogNGP

    I bet one of their SEO tricks was posting messages with links on Guestbooks.

  • http://www.riverdeltaindia.com/dot_net_development.php .Net Application Development

    Lol ! But there are so many audit report’s format available in the market just for SEO. So, nice to get this blog.