By kayddee | May 4, 2010
And other delusional tales of woe
Yeah. I’ve heard it all before, many times. And I have no doubt that over the years I will continue to hear it. The same boring repetitive ignorant statements from the same boring, repetitive (sometimes) ignorant people.
Let’s just get this clear. These sort of statements about SEO being bullshit tend to be made by two main types of people. Genuine non-believers and those who do actually believe but are looking to grab attention from the industry they are criticising. But we can break those down even more.
Before I continue I would like to say that the following examples are purely fictional and are not representations of any real person living, dead or sandboxed.
The failed SEO
The failed SEO is frustrated because they tried to learn about SEO but it never ever sunk in. They don’t have the intuition required. They picked up a PC mag with a free SEO guide, stuck in a few meta keywords and nothing happened.
They attacked everyone in the SEO forums because they didn’t like the answers they were given. Whether they tried for 1 week or 2 years, because THEY didn’t get it they concluded nobody else possibly could either – or they were lying. The failed SEO believes all trading SEOs are involved in a big conspiracy to con the world. The failed SEO will rant about this on his/her blog in between pay for review posts and affiliate links. Failed SEO says “SEO is bullshit!“.
The cheapskate built a website (or got their cleaners dogs best friends son to make it) using frontpage. It also uses frames. The cheapskate thinks the site should rank for ‘Cars‘ because they were the first car dealer to get a website on their street. (Plus they are THE BEST car dealers around.) The cheapskate, off course, wants to get some SEO for free.
Cheapskate emails all the top ranking SEO’s and says if the SEO gets the site ranking for ‘Cars’ he will tell all their friends about it (cheapskate’s friends also have cool frontpage websites, with frames). None of the SEO’s reply (some blog about it but don’t name names). Cheapskate decides to give it a go himself. He adds the word ‘cars‘ 2000 times to meta keywords. Someone in an SEO forum notices the keyword spam and ridicules the website. Cheapskate thinks “SEO’s are arseholes and full of shit!”
The cleaners dogs best friends son
This cool wannabe webdesigner’s Grandmother thinks he’s wonderful and tells everyone so at the social club. “He’s going to go places is our Marcus“. Marcus possibly even got a degree from one of those Uni’s that pass you just for turning up. marcus usually hangs around in chat rooms threatening to hack anyone who disagrees with him.
Marcus delayed playing WOW for an hour to build a website for the his gran’s social club after being recommended by the car dealer. Then some SEO tells the social club that frames aren’t good for search engines and that perhaps clipart isn’t best for a professional website. He said other stuff too but who cares, Marcus is fucking livid and goes on facebook saying “All SEO’s do is rip apart the work of hard working web designers. They’re full of shit!”
Longtailer caught on that simply by adding the text to the page her website ranked over night for ‘Pink Leprachauns in Bristol‘. Even though all 4 webpage’s use ‘page 1, 2, 3, 4′ as the title, the navigation uses images and the website is hosted for free at ‘supadoopafreewebsiteskorea.me.uk’.
Longtailer joins SEO forums with the handle “SEOGuru” to share this knowledge but other members and moderators laugh, scorn and abuse her mercilessly. She goes on to build a wordpress blog and sell SEO copywriting. her message says “Words are all that is needed in order to rank on Goggle”. Under her breath she mutters “SEO is a con!”
- The believer knows full well that SEO is a legitimate provision.
- The believer knows there are some web developers who dont product search engine friendly sites and some that do. Either way there still may be a need for additional optimsation.
- The believer knows the power of a link.
- The believer knows the passionate, sometimes aggressive, often defensive nature of the industry.
- The believer knows SEO’s will bite when they are criticized and they will pull together as one to stand up for what they believe in.
- The believer wishes you to imagine right now that you are listening to this speech in a stadium, your country national anthem is playing in the background, people are cheering louder at each point made.
- The believer knows that saying SEO is Bullshit is Bullshit.
- The believer is an attention seeker.
- The believer probably copied your work at school and told the teachers that you were the one who put the condom in the bible cupboard.
- The believer is the person who farts in a public place and then walks away so you can take the blame.
Yes. This person, the believer, is the link baiter. This person is the bullshitter of bullshitters. He goes to bed every night chuckling to himself “SEO is sooooooooooooo bullshit that last year I bought an Island from the proceeds of it.”
So yeah. I have heard it all before. But if you have something to say about why SEO is crap, a con or bullshit please at least make it original and interesting.