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SEO is bullshit. SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

By kayddee | May 4, 2010

And other delusional tales of woe

Yeah. I’ve heard it all before, many times. And I have no doubt that over the years I will continue to hear it. The same boring repetitive ignorant statements from the same boring, repetitive (sometimes) ignorant people.

Let’s just get this clear. These sort of statements about SEO being bullshit tend to be made by two main types of people. Genuine non-believers and those who do actually believe but are looking to grab attention from the industry they are criticising. But we can break those down even more.

SEO is bullshit.  SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

Before I continue I would like to say that the following examples are purely fictional and are not representations of any real person living, dead or sandboxed.

The failed SEO

The failed SEO is frustrated because they tried to learn about SEO but it never ever sunk in. They don’t have the intuition required. They picked up a PC mag with a free SEO guide, stuck in a few meta keywords and nothing happened.

SEO is bullshit.  SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

They attacked everyone in the SEO forums because they didn’t like the answers they were given. Whether they tried for 1 week or 2 years, because THEY didn’t get it they concluded nobody else possibly could either – or they were lying. The failed SEO believes all trading SEOs are involved in a big conspiracy to con the world. The failed SEO will rant about this on his/her blog in between pay for review posts and affiliate links. Failed SEO says “SEO is bullshit!“.

The cheapskate

The cheapskate built a website (or got their cleaners dogs best friends son to make it) using frontpage. It also uses frames. The cheapskate thinks the site should rank for ‘Cars‘ because they were the first car dealer to get a website on their street. (Plus they are THE BEST car dealers around.) The cheapskate, off course, wants to get some SEO for free.

Cheapskate emails all the top ranking SEO’s and says if the SEO gets the site ranking for ‘Cars’ he will tell all their friends about it (cheapskate’s friends also have cool frontpage websites, with frames). None of the SEO’s reply (some blog about it but don’t name names). Cheapskate decides to give it a go himself. He adds the word ‘cars‘ 2000 times to meta keywords. Someone in an SEO forum notices the keyword spam and ridicules the website. Cheapskate thinks “SEO’s are arseholes and full of shit!”

The cleaners dogs best friends son

This cool wannabe webdesigner’s Grandmother thinks he’s wonderful and tells everyone so at the social club. “He’s going to go places is our Marcus“. Marcus possibly even got a degree from one of those Uni’s that pass you just for turning up. marcus usually hangs around in chat rooms threatening to hack anyone who disagrees with him.

Marcus delayed playing WOW for an hour to build a website for the his gran’s social club after being recommended by the car dealer. Then some SEO tells the social club that frames aren’t good for search engines and that perhaps clipart isn’t best for a professional website. He said other stuff too but who cares, Marcus is fucking livid and goes on facebook saying “All SEO’s do is rip apart the work of hard working web designers. They’re full of shit!

The Longtailer

Longtailer caught on that simply by adding the text to the page her website ranked over night for ‘Pink Leprachauns in Bristol. Even though all 4 webpage’s use ‘page 1, 2, 3, 4′ as the title, the navigation uses images and the website is hosted for free at ‘supadoopafreewebsiteskorea.me.uk’.

Longtailer joins SEO forums with the handle “SEOGuru” to share this knowledge but other members and moderators laugh, scorn and abuse her mercilessly. She goes on to build a wordpress blog and sell SEO copywriting. her message says “Words are all that is needed in order to rank on Goggle”. Under her breath she mutters “SEO is a con!

The Believer

Yes. This person, the believer,  is the link baiter. This person is the bullshitter of bullshitters. He goes to bed every night chuckling to himself “SEO is sooooooooooooo bullshit that last year I bought an Island from the proceeds of it.”

So yeah. I have heard it all before. But if you have something to say about why SEO is crap, a con or bullshit please at least make it original and interesting.

No Bullshit? Then just Share it!
  • SEO is bullshit.  SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

Topics: Myths and Crap | 74 Comments »

  • Anonymous

    A VERY sad Loss. My prayers, love and support go out to Pam and the kids. R.I.P. A true gentleman.cappadocia

  • Anonymous

    By academic freedom I understand the right to search for truth and to publish and teach what one holds to be true. This right implies also a duty: one must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be true. It is evident that any restriction.tatil

  • http://www.uygunotel.com tatil otelleri

    I beleive totally :) Useful share.I appreciate.

  • http://twitter.com/Algevis Kadir Yaman

    Good articles should share to every person ,hope you can write more and more good articles.
    cene estetigi

  • http://www.clickfirstmedia.co.uk Seo Manchester

    I never thought the term “Seo is bullshit” would initiate such a debate. Seo works and is fun to learn as it evolves.

  • http://www.seoadvance.co.uk/ seo manchester

     This means that your website will be the most frequently accessed in among many others offering the same services and products. It will also be viewed by several people. If they like your site, o r your products, they can even recommend it to all their friends on various social networking sites, and so on, which will make the reach of your target customer base very high. Thus, by investing very less amount of resources, you can ensure that your PR efforts are taken on to a completely new level.

  • http://twitter.com/rbnstr08 Benny Austria

    Google search, SEO and Page Ranking dropped one of my blogspots from Page Rank 3 to ZERO after blogger was down for a couple of days, I think that was in February 2011.  There was no explanation why!

  • http://twitter.com/rbnstr08 Benny Austria

    Google search, SEO and Page Ranking dropped one of my blogspots from
    Page Rank 3 to ZERO after blogger was down for a couple of days, I think
    that was in February 2011.  There was no explanation why!

  • http://www.iffal.org John Something

    I work for the cheapskate. Our website is a load of tables and frames straight out of the late 90′s and we’re dumping all kinds of cash into some marketing firm and their SEO department that goes around the internet spamming spun articles to free directories. 

    None of that fixes the fact that our website is a load of crap. I still think SEO is bullshit.

  • SEPJedi

    I bill $250 an hour for SEO and get it all day. Why? Because we have quantifiable results that generate ROI for clients. We take our competition out into the middle of the arena, smash their face in, confirm the thumbs down from the crowd and proceed to do unholy things to their corpse while the crowd cheers. THAT is SEO in 2011. This ain’t your grandmas SEO bitches.

  • Dbur50

    I am a small business owner who searched for seo experts and paid a lot of money to utter noobs and high class seo firms. In the end I taught myself and yep Im #1 #2 #3 in a highly competitive market. What I found is seo experts are like advanced car salespersons except car salesman live with no illusions.

  • http://twitter.com/SagligiNet Sagligi.Net

    Sağlık good thanks you

  • Anonymous

    Kaydee, we need more articles from you ‘cos this one rocks!!

  • http://twitter.com/revistahotel hospedaje de letras

    Wanna exchange links?

  • James Beswick

    I love this article – pure wisdom distilled!

  • Fuckseo

    Sorry, but SEO is Bullshit. Yes, there are good guidelines to follow, but Google has backroom deals for any real profitable industries. And what they allow in second and third tier markets is totally random. There is nothing a “pro” can do that a regular amateur cannot nowadays. But hey, have fun.

  • Acanatara Seo1

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  • Ryan Sharp

    SEO is bullshit. It’s a joke. It’s for sorry little boys who want to believe they can wank themselves stupid at home and earn a magical living spamming links all over the internet and worshipping Matt Cutts.

    Someone had the balls to tell me that he was an “SEO expert” in real life once. Yes it wasn’t on a tacky PHP forum or his WordPress SEO TIPZ blog, he actually opened his mouth and said it in person. I had a real good laugh at that one. What was he thinking? That a culture of 13 year old losers living in their own little hacker fantasy world is actually taken seriously in the real world? I kind of felt sorry for him.

  • Trevor F. Roll

    Unwise men have a very hard time identifying real wisdom.

  • Jason Bourne

    SEO sure appears to be total BS!  I am willing to pay any SEO pro’s that will work on a commission/revenue share model only.  I have been ripped off too many times for BIG BUCKS from SEO fraudsters and have decided not to spend any more money for what appears to be a crooked lot filled with liars and scoundrels.  I hear the same horror stories from thousands of business owners and associates in many different fields who mirror the same story of paying a lot of money and getting ZERO RESULTS.  All the while being strung along with the same old story ” SEO takes 6-8 months to see results.  When the 6-8 months comes and goes, then the story changes to your just in a highly competetive market, just a few more months should make the difference.  So, lets see who is willing to put their money where their mouth is and get paid based on your actual results!  I doubt there will be any takers, but this is the new way to sort out the crooks.  If there are any takers leave your email and we will call you.

  • http://twitter.com/VidiKolik VidiKolik

    Video izle Good Thank you

  • Sceptics

    you fools, sucked in by cheap theatrics, every one knows the rule, don’t knock others such as competitors, it’ll come back to bite you.

    aside from this, what does this article achieve actually? really.

  • http://topsongsindia.blogspot.in/ nitesh agrawal

    totally agree nice article kayddee.

  • aexonic technologies

     Good one! amazing!!