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SEO is bullshit. SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

By kayddee | May 4, 2010

And other delusional tales of woe

Yeah. I’ve heard it all before, many times. And I have no doubt that over the years I will continue to hear it. The same boring repetitive ignorant statements from the same boring, repetitive (sometimes) ignorant people.

Let’s just get this clear. These sort of statements about SEO being bullshit tend to be made by two main types of people. Genuine non-believers and those who do actually believe but are looking to grab attention from the industry they are criticising. But we can break those down even more.

SEO is bullshit. SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

Before I continue I would like to say that the following examples are purely fictional and are not representations of any real person living, dead or sandboxed.

The failed SEO

The failed SEO is frustrated because they tried to learn about SEO but it never ever sunk in. They don’t have the intuition required. They picked up a PC mag with a free SEO guide, stuck in a few meta keywords and nothing happened.

SEO is bullshit. SEO is snake oil. SEO is a waste of money

They attacked everyone in the SEO forums because they didn’t like the answers they were given. Whether they tried for 1 week or 2 years, because THEY didn’t get it they concluded nobody else possibly could either – or they were lying. The failed SEO believes all trading SEOs are involved in a big conspiracy to con the world. The failed SEO will rant about this on his/her blog in between pay for review posts and affiliate links. Failed SEO says “SEO is bullshit!“.

The cheapskate

The cheapskate built a website (or got their cleaners dogs best friends son to make it) using frontpage. It also uses frames. The cheapskate thinks the site should rank for ‘Cars‘ because they were the first car dealer to get a website on their street. (Plus they are THE BEST car dealers around.) The cheapskate, off course, wants to get some SEO for free.

Cheapskate emails all the top ranking SEO’s and says if the SEO gets the site ranking for ‘Cars’ he will tell all their friends about it (cheapskate’s friends also have cool frontpage websites, with frames). None of the SEO’s reply (some blog about it but don’t name names). Cheapskate decides to give it a go himself. He adds the word ‘cars‘ 2000 times to meta keywords. Someone in an SEO forum notices the keyword spam and ridicules the website. Cheapskate thinks “SEO’s are arseholes and full of shit!”

The cleaners dogs best friends son

This cool wannabe webdesigner’s Grandmother thinks he’s wonderful and tells everyone so at the social club. “He’s going to go places is our Marcus“. Marcus possibly even got a degree from one of those Uni’s that pass you just for turning up. marcus usually hangs around in chat rooms threatening to hack anyone who disagrees with him.

Marcus delayed playing WOW for an hour to build a website for the his gran’s social club after being recommended by the car dealer. Then some SEO tells the social club that frames aren’t good for search engines and that perhaps clipart isn’t best for a professional website. He said other stuff too but who cares, Marcus is fucking livid and goes on facebook saying “All SEO’s do is rip apart the work of hard working web designers. They’re full of shit!”

The Longtailer

Longtailer caught on that simply by adding the text to the page her website ranked over night for ‘Pink Leprachauns in Bristol‘. Even though all 4 webpage’s use ‘page 1, 2, 3, 4′ as the title, the navigation uses images and the website is hosted for free at ‘supadoopafreewebsiteskorea.me.uk’.

Longtailer joins SEO forums with the handle “SEOGuru” to share this knowledge but other members and moderators laugh, scorn and abuse her mercilessly. She goes on to build a wordpress blog and sell SEO copywriting. her message says “Words are all that is needed in order to rank on Goggle”. Under her breath she mutters “SEO is a con!”

The Believer

Yes. This person, the believer,  is the link baiter. This person is the bullshitter of bullshitters. He goes to bed every night chuckling to himself “SEO is sooooooooooooo bullshit that last year I bought an Island from the proceeds of it.”

So yeah. I have heard it all before. But if you have something to say about why SEO is crap, a con or bullshit please at least make it original and interesting.

Topics: Myths and Crap | 71 Comments »

Posted on 04 May 2010 by Kay Dinsdale

A pedantic SEO and Internet Marketer from Manchester, UK. Drinks more than her RDA of red wine. Loves working with small businesses. (I don't dislike big businesses...I just like small ones more)

has written 1 articles for SEO Bullshit

  • http://chuckreynolds.us Chuck Reynolds

    :) another article worth sharing… thx guys

  • http://www.goosh.co.uk/ Goosh

    Rawwwwwrrr Kay!

  • http://www.webranking.com/ James Svoboda

    The “cheapskate” is my Nemesis. Ahhhhh!

  • http://www.huomah.com theGypsy

    Great stuff Kay and thanks for answering the (twitter) call with a great post. Methinks I have to do 'SEO is Dead' next… hee hee

    PEOPLE – we'd appreciate any nicely targeted links to this post so we can bump the naysayer currently holding the top spot for 'SEO is Bullshit' – please join the cause!

  • frankin

    Brilliant! This is the first “SEO is bullshit” linkbait that I've ever reacted to. I'll devote some time to getting this article ranked. Thanks Kay.

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    Thanks for the comments :)

    I looked through some other SEO is Bullshit posts in the results page and actually liked a couple because they went on to give a more balanced view explaining why SEO is Bullshit for their brand/website but acknowledged that SEO works and is appropriate in many cases.

    It still made me smile at the contradiction though since they used 'SEO is Bullshit' in the title. Clearly an effort to rank for the phrase :)

  • http://www.firstfound-blog.co.uk Andy @ FirstFound

    I'd classify the believer as a “rantbaiter” – lots of people do it. Pick an indefensible position just to stir up some attention.

    Great post though – I was laughing throughout as I've most definitely dealt with some of those people! The Cheapskate especially.

    I'll whack this up on Twitter now.

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    rantbaiter – i like it! :)

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ppc-is-bullshit/ PPC is Bullshit | SEO and Internet Marketing

    [...] If you enjoyed this little rant, you might also enjoy SEO is Bullshit [...]

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    According to Wikipedia:

    “Calling something “bullshit” can imply anything from indignation to a joking and good-natured intent.”

    “Horseshit is more often used as a reactive exclamation or profoundly distrustful assessment. Horseshit carries a connotation of the speaker's indignation…stating that something is a “load of horseshit” usually implies that the speaker feels wronged or upset by the current situation”

    Therefore, I have concluded that all those disgruntled and nasty people that blog or comment using the phrase “SEO is Bullshit” are doing so incorrectly. They should be using “SEO is Horseshit”.

    So sayeth the Kay :P

  • http://www.huomah.com theGypsy

    lol getting into it are we? So essentially it's the wrong animal? Man, the post title's that just popped into me head… bwaa ha ha ha ha..

  • http://marketitwrite.com/blog rduermyer

    Agree with others – the cheapskate definitely takes the cake – or the cow pie, as the case may be.

  • http://sem-group.net/search-engine-optimization-blog/ Gerald Weber

    I'd be willing to bet this will rank #1 for the phrase

    “SEO is bullshit. SEO is snak oil. SEO is a waste of money.”

    Anybody want to bet?

  • jimrudnick

    <head nodding here> Spot-On! Love your take on same, Kay!

    :-)

    Jim

  • http://www.redheadwriting.com The Redhead

    Rock it, Kay…GREAT PIECE!

  • bestchoice

    I like it. Like it a lot. Took me a few minutes to locate what everyone else was referencing, but I am interested in reading a follow up post of how long it took to bump the ranking.

    Great post. The Failed SEO is what I see ALL the time in the forums.

  • http://tannerhobin.com Tanner Hobin

    I've hosted with supadoopafreewebsiteskorea.me.uk, their not bad.

    Nice post, thanks for the laughs.

  • http://congressratings.com/ Marc Beharry

    “Me thinks” this is a rather important post. In any profession there are grifters, but SEO is bigger than a profession, its a marketing weapon. Anyone who disregards it will have their castle pillaged and treasures plundered.

  • http://www.alexhoug.com Alex Houg

    AMEN! SEO works, how do I know? It feeds me, clothes me, and puts a roof over my head. :)

  • http://www.dkssystems.com Nick LeRoy

    This is fantastic! Great post Kay! I don't have any doubts this post will go straight to the top of the search engines!

  • gerbot

    not often that I smile as I read a SEO post.
    thanks

  • nevilrohinton

    This is a really cool list. I know you said that the characters are fictional but in my 3 years with SEO, I have met most of them :-)

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    Wow comments make me giddy thanks :)

    I was in a rather bad mood yesterday and wrote PPC is Bullshit too. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts: http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ppc-is-bullshit/ (yes that is a shameless plug!)

    So this may not be #1 for SEO is Bullshit yet but I do see it at #1 for SEO is Horseshit (woooo!)

  • Geoffroe

    Kind of a cool one. Thanks very much for breaking this down into hilarious stereotypes for me. I love getting one of these cheapskates after the fact. They come in with their tail between their legs asking me to undo all the spamming they paid for.

    A nice change from the other Sphinn stuff today.

  • http://www.search-marketing-answers.com/blog alanbleiweiss

    SEO is pure bullshit. Why? Because this is all an illusion, and we're all one in spirit anyhow. So everything else, including SEO, is bullshit! But as long as I happen to think I'm in reality, I'll continue doing SEO work, because within the constraints of this version of reality, SEO is a proven viable business marketing solution.

    < head spinning >

  • http://www.search-marketing-answers.com/blog alanbleiweiss

    Actually Kay, it really depends on perspective. Horseshit, when generally used in the context of bullshit made real, is a negative connotation. However horseshit has its valid horticultural uses, and thus it can be a positive.

    It's the same thing as with bullshit when you think about it, though bullshit tends to be more odorous, given that bulls have a more fragrant dietary intake.

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    I admit to never having spent much time (ok, no time at all) smelling bullshit or horseshit. So I will have to accept your take on it Alan.

    I wonder, do you happen to have any experience with dog, cat, mouse and pigshit? Are they negatives or positives? :)

  • PokerSEO

    AHAHA! Thsi is my favorite article yet! Keep it coming please. Oh and yeah this is a great example of “link bait” I'm re-positing it ASAP

  • Simply Fact

    tl;dr. SEO is bullshit, there's only money to be made in telling other people how to make money.

  • http://www.seonoobie.com Maciej

    I think usually the people who go on rants about SEO are the ones who don't have a marketing bone in their body. Some elements of SEO are technical but if you are not a marketer you are just not going to do well at all causing you to….kick and scream at the industry

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    wow this is still generating interest. ok lets play a game. Let's call it something catchy and original…I know! We'll call it “SEO is Bullshit because”.

    Ok, you have to comment and say why. The best one will win a 30 second SEO consultation with a Google SEO consultant who guarantees #1 ranking in 24 hours. (yeah thats BS but play anyway)

    Who's going first?

    “SEO is bullshit because……?”

  • http://www.kaydinsdale.co.uk/ Kay Dinsdale

    I rant about SEO all the time. I think my left femur is a marketing bone, but I will need to get an xray to confirm.

  • brettpringle

    Ok, i'm game for this and my favourite comeback we love to hear

    “SEO is bullshit because my son's best friends twice removed aunties uncles son in law does webdesign and can add keywords to the meta keywords tag to get my site ranked”

    :)

  • http://www.internetmarketingservice.co.uk Adam

    Kay great bait, heard al those before, why are there so many unprofessional goons in the industry??

  • http://www.buzzLmedia.com greg

    So glad I bit on this – good and funny post kay

  • http://whois.gimoo.net/g?do=seop.com SEOP.com

    I agree that there are lots of frauds out there claiming so many about SEO. But there are also legitimate SEOs who can show results with their hard work and proper knowledge.

  • Masaya

    Michiel van Kets is a Belgium criminal who is hiding in Phuket, Thailand!
    His SEO company Luminous Co., Ltd. is just a bullshit farce!

  • http://justinsiefert.wordpress.com/2010/06/21/its-been-a-while-and-seo-is-for-real/ It’s Been A While…And SEO is for Real!? « The Evolving Role of PR in Technology

    [...] (there are quite a few posts dedicated to this) while others swear by it. (For a laugh, check out SEO is Bull$&@*, SEO is Snake Oil, SEO is a Waste of Money).  I am not sure if I am quite sold yet on SEO. I definitely see some benefit to it but as online [...]

  • Pensi

    anybody who talks about SEO is a cunt faced cock sucker faggot mother fucker who fucks their own father in their ass

  • http://www.seohocasi.com Seo

    Thank you very much for this seo information.

  • http://www.problemcocuk.com/ seo

    I like your article. Can you analyze every website for seo?

  • http://www.page1guaranteed.com.au Australian SEO Company

    any negative or positive description that is expressed to an extent will surely wake up everyones interest and start talking or rather blogging as a way of reacting
    great bait i'd say

    but yeah makes an absolute sense i find it a great post

  • jamesII

    Fuck me. What a sad bunch. How can people get excited about marketing? “Helping other people make money” – that's your job description. And yet you have the cheek to call yourselves 'creatives'. Who gives a crap if SEO works or not – it's all horseshit.

  • http://www.problemcocuk.com/ seo

    How is your favourite and when it comeback?

  • http://www.intuitionseo.co.uk Chris

    Brilliant! Definitely one to share

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  • Cattlefraud

    SEO is elitist nonsense, the rules of which are constantly changing, and who gets to decide what the rules are?

  • http://www.mijail.com.ve/2010/10/seovenger-hunt-day-5-final-answer/ SEOvenger Hunt Day #5 Final Answer « Mijail Rondon

    [...] Si seguimos el orden de la pista principal, tenemo que buscar en SEO Bullshit algo relacionado con SEO Snake Oil, lo que nos lleva a este blog: SEOBullshit.com [...]

  • http://www.link-assistant.com/blog/seo-scavenger-hunt-is-over/ SEO Scavenger Hunt is Over! | SEO Blog of Link-Assistant.Com

    [...] a 2 second search to find out what SEO Bullshit is and then another two second search to locate the right page on the [...]

  • http://twitter.com/santuwebstr Santosh Prasad

    The believer knows that saying SEO is Bullshit is Bullshit ;) :D
    M loving this site m/

  • Anonymous

    A VERY sad Loss. My prayers, love and support go out to Pam and the kids. R.I.P. A true gentleman.cappadocia

  • Anonymous

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  • http://www.uygunotel.com tatil otelleri

    I beleive totally :) Useful share.I appreciate.

  • http://twitter.com/Algevis Kadir Yaman

    Good articles should share to every person ,hope you can write more and more good articles.
    cene estetigi

  • http://www.clickfirstmedia.co.uk Seo Manchester

    I never thought the term “Seo is bullshit” would initiate such a debate. Seo works and is fun to learn as it evolves.

  • http://www.seoadvance.co.uk/ seo manchester

     This means that your website will be the most frequently accessed in among many others offering the same services and products. It will also be viewed by several people. If they like your site, o r your products, they can even recommend it to all their friends on various social networking sites, and so on, which will make the reach of your target customer base very high. Thus, by investing very less amount of resources, you can ensure that your PR efforts are taken on to a completely new level.

  • http://twitter.com/rbnstr08 Benny Austria

    Google search, SEO and Page Ranking dropped one of my blogspots from Page Rank 3 to ZERO after blogger was down for a couple of days, I think that was in February 2011.  There was no explanation why!

  • http://twitter.com/rbnstr08 Benny Austria

    Google search, SEO and Page Ranking dropped one of my blogspots from
    Page Rank 3 to ZERO after blogger was down for a couple of days, I think
    that was in February 2011.  There was no explanation why!

  • http://www.iffal.org John Something

    I work for the cheapskate. Our website is a load of tables and frames straight out of the late 90′s and we’re dumping all kinds of cash into some marketing firm and their SEO department that goes around the internet spamming spun articles to free directories. 

    None of that fixes the fact that our website is a load of crap. I still think SEO is bullshit.

  • SEPJedi

    I bill $250 an hour for SEO and get it all day. Why? Because we have quantifiable results that generate ROI for clients. We take our competition out into the middle of the arena, smash their face in, confirm the thumbs down from the crowd and proceed to do unholy things to their corpse while the crowd cheers. THAT is SEO in 2011. This ain’t your grandmas SEO bitches.

  • Dbur50

    I am a small business owner who searched for seo experts and paid a lot of money to utter noobs and high class seo firms. In the end I taught myself and yep Im #1 #2 #3 in a highly competitive market. What I found is seo experts are like advanced car salespersons except car salesman live with no illusions.

  • http://twitter.com/SagligiNet Sagligi.Net

    Sağlık good thanks you

  • Anonymous

    Kaydee, we need more articles from you ‘cos this one rocks!!

  • http://twitter.com/revistahotel hospedaje de letras

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  • James Beswick

    I love this article – pure wisdom distilled!

  • Fuckseo

    Sorry, but SEO is Bullshit. Yes, there are good guidelines to follow, but Google has backroom deals for any real profitable industries. And what they allow in second and third tier markets is totally random. There is nothing a “pro” can do that a regular amateur cannot nowadays. But hey, have fun.

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    http://www.agentur-suchmaschinen-marketing.de/

  • Ryan Sharp

    SEO is bullshit. It’s a joke. It’s for sorry little boys who want to believe they can wank themselves stupid at home and earn a magical living spamming links all over the internet and worshipping Matt Cutts.

    Someone had the balls to tell me that he was an “SEO expert” in real life once. Yes it wasn’t on a tacky PHP forum or his WordPress SEO TIPZ blog, he actually opened his mouth and said it in person. I had a real good laugh at that one. What was he thinking? That a culture of 13 year old losers living in their own little hacker fantasy world is actually taken seriously in the real world? I kind of felt sorry for him.

  • Trevor F. Roll

    Unwise men have a very hard time identifying real wisdom.

  • Jason Bourne

    SEO sure appears to be total BS!  I am willing to pay any SEO pro’s that will work on a commission/revenue share model only.  I have been ripped off too many times for BIG BUCKS from SEO fraudsters and have decided not to spend any more money for what appears to be a crooked lot filled with liars and scoundrels.  I hear the same horror stories from thousands of business owners and associates in many different fields who mirror the same story of paying a lot of money and getting ZERO RESULTS.  All the while being strung along with the same old story ” SEO takes 6-8 months to see results.  When the 6-8 months comes and goes, then the story changes to your just in a highly competetive market, just a few more months should make the difference.  So, lets see who is willing to put their money where their mouth is and get paid based on your actual results!  I doubt there will be any takers, but this is the new way to sort out the crooks.  If there are any takers leave your email and we will call you.

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