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The Hit & Run Snakeoil Salesmen Are Back

By Goosh | March 3, 2010

I thought this tactic had long since died but it has reared its ugly head again – the “SEO” Cold Call Lie.

You know how it goes:

Salesman: Hi Sir, I’m calling today about your website

Owner:  Oh, yes?

Salesman:  How would you like to put your website in front of thousands of potential visitors every day?

Owner:  Why, that sounds amazing, but how can you do that?

Salesman:  With our secret techniques we can get you #1 position on Google this afternoon!

Owner:  Wow, you must be good!

And we all know the outcome of this fabrication:  A Pay Per Click campaign that will exhaust itself faster than you can say “Whoopahh”!

It’s companies like this that annoy me so much because they are taking valuable budget away from a client where they could be easily investing in their long term rankings which will ultimately last a hell of a lot longer than the second it takes to max out your credit card!

Who’s The Guilty Parties?

The company offering this as a long-term, sustainable solution; simple as that!  The regular perpetrators are print & media agencies, small web design companies & IT support companies who have a web designer in their midst.

Don’t get me wrong, PPC has its place in high yielding, quick-reaction and absolute targeting, but when it comes to snakeoil sales companies selling this shit as SEO it really does boil my piss.  PPC can be used VERY effectively providing there is a profitable return-on-investment, but to be sold purely as a guaranteed #1 solution is just insane – especially in a very competitive industry where CPC’s are astronomical for some people.

I thought this tactic had died out in the early 2000’s but apparently enough time has passed that there are enough gullible victims at the end of a phone line once again :(

I’m not #1 anymore, what do I do?

I would honestly hate to be the account managers on the end of the phone having to explain it to these poor souls that they have to spend, spend & spend money to remain on the 1st page and then be questioned why their competitor is always there on the 1st page.  I imagine it goes like this:

Account Manager: Oh, that’s a Natural Listing

Owner:  A what?

Account Manager: Through SEO

Owner:  That’s what I just bought

Account Manager: No, you bought Sponsored Listing where you pay to be there and once your budget runs out you are removed

Owner:  What?

All I can hope is that the clean cut, honorable SEO’s get to these companies first so we can at least educate them on the difference before they spend their yearly budget on a months 1st page listing with these snakeoil salesmen – and if they do happen to get stung, I hope they can make their money from the deal and prove me wrong!

But I doubt that will happen.

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  • The Hit & Run Snakeoil Salesmen Are Back

Topics: Business Bullshit, Snake Oil | 18 Comments »

Posted on 03 March 2010 by Kev Strong

An online marketing consultant based in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Through his SEO Blog, Goosh covers the usual rants, raves and annoyances in the SEO industry.

has written 2 articles for SEO Bullshit

  • LordManley

    Clients are becoming more and more SEO savvy – this can only last a finite amount of time.

    I hope.

  • http://www.making8seo.com/ Adam J. Humphreys

    According to the book “The Art of SEO” by Rand Fishkin the result of a #1 PPC result is equal to a 7-10 ranking in organic search. Google knowing this has basically made little to no distinction in top PPC ad spots from top organic in the SERP's which many are saying is against FTC rules. PPC in your SEM strategy is good but for the long term there's no question SEO should be a main focus if the site's to have any real equity over time. Quality score of content never hurt anybody, but for the long term PPC is a rather large waste of cash unless you're targeting certain sites for traffic.

  • http://hell.com/ evilp

    so.. a list?

  • http://www.justinparks.com Justin Parks

    These bullshit artists are the bane of my existence as well. Probably because they all bought this: http://seobullshit.com/instant-seo-books-bullshit/ and think that's all there is to it.

  • http://www.milliondollarwebad.com/ AndrewinHD

    I didn't know people did this bullshit… I wonder if any company could have a legal claim against this kind of tactic.

    long term PPC campaigns do have value though, and should not be ignored.

    Sometimes you have to tell your client what they don't want to hear. SEO is not an overnight thing…

  • http://www.pocketinfo.net/ Robert L

    Good post , good humour. I feel into this trap 2 years ago and now build my own links and content and don't pay for any PPC. This would be different if I was looking to sell some physical product or brand.

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  • http://johnvantine.com/ John

    I used to be on the receiving end of many of these calls, and I had some pretty entertaining calls, only because I was (and still am) pretty well-versed in SEO. Usually I didn't stay on long, but a few times I messed with them for a while.

  • http://jeffsebring.com/ Jeff Sebring

    They never have stopped. I know this because there has been a snakeoil salesman call center in my city (Spokane) for 10 years. Some of my former co-workers went to work there.

    Those salesmen don't even know they are selling snakeoil. They just know if they don't sell the product, they lose their jobs.

  • http://www.henryinsurance.com/ kenneth

    I get these call 2 -3 times a month. I am sure that lots of small companies that do not know SEO from BOO, say sure.

  • http://www.thesaleslion.com/ Marcus Sheridan,The Sales Lion

    Anyone who thinks that many, many companies aren't still falling for this crap is wrong. Fact is, the majority of small biz owners in this world no JACK about SEO and the like. It's a friggin shame too, as they are a target just waiting to get nailed.

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  • http://2wahms.com/ Kara

    I'm just excited to see a cheap form of entertainment for me is back again. Can't wait to get my call, I haven't had one in years. I love messing with these people

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  • http://www.the-name-i-wanted-was-already-taken-so-i-used-a-lot-of-dashes.com/ The Domain Naming Dude

    I don't see this scam every running out of steam because:

    1. Most people don't understand, and will never understand, SEO and SEM fundamentals.
    2. The web is growing exponentially so there is a constant stream on fresh meat to exploit.

    When I see so many people use the address bar as a search bar (and vice versa), when I hear people say “I don't know” when I ask them what browser they are using, or when they have no idea how they get their email (ok, are you using and email client like Outlook or Thunderbird or do you log into a web mail account?..I don't know, I just click a button and I get my mail”) I have no doubt in my mind that we will never see the end of these SEO scammers. It's just too easy to take advantage of such a huge pool of victims. Want more proof? Just see how many Nigerian 419 scams you get a day. They do it because it works. Before email they did it through fax machines.

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  • http://lylesinsurance.com Dan

    I also get a kick who gives actual demonstrations of keywords ranks very high, only to find out that no one searches for that phrase. It’s so easy to bust a fraud SEO guy out. but the majority of webmasters have no clue how to check them out.