By King Douche | May 2, 2012
I often get asked, “What IS your goal, King?”
“Domination to the point of demoralization,” is my answer.
That’s when the bug-eyed, blank stare hits me.
The concept of my strategy is so under-estimated, so feared, so rare, that no one hardly ever gets it that THAT is what I’m doing. Go fucking psycho on them. But that’s my strategy.
WHAT IS PSYCHO?
Well, it starts with sleepless nights. Or day-night sleep reversal, whatever you call it. Personally, I can’t work while those wretched birds chirp so that means when the birds start chirping, it’s time for bed. Although, I live in Vegas, and perhaps that’s par for the course. However, the indisputable fact remains: ”I worked well beyond what you’re capable of working. I win.” And, that’s my strategy, people. Work harder than anyone else to the point where other competitors look at your campaign and say to themselves, “that site dominates everything, why bother?”
Perfect. The exact response I was looking for.
DOMINATION TO THE POINT OF DEMORALIZATION
That’s my motto. I want to make you cry. I want to make you feel hopeless. I want it so you don’t even try to compete with me. Why? Because you CAN’T COMPETE WITH PSYCHO. Nothing instills a win faster than someone contemplating to compete with you then giving up because you never became complacent with your campaign and this fact is evident when competitors try to belly-up and play ball with a pro.
“Don’t even try.” That’s the message I’m trying to convey.
FINISH YOUR SHIT. DOESN’T MATTER IF IT FAILS.
Don’t be a douchebag. The MOST COMMON defense mechanism your big-fat oversized brain will try to impose on you is “If you don’t finish the site, and it fails, then it’s okay but you never gave it 100%.”
That’s TOTAL SEO BULLSHIT.
Recognize that your brain is trying to save you from pain. If you were to deploy, what you considered to be a 100% awesome site, and it failed, you would then conclude that YOU are a failure and your brain will do everything in its power to prevent pain. DEPLOY THAT SHIT. FACE THE PAIN.
If your idea/site is a failure, then so be it. But don’t NOT do something because you want it to be perfect and, therefore, if it’s not perfect it’s not deployable. That’s a bullshit defense mechanism. Recognize it. Thwart it.
GOD HELP YOU IF YOU REACH THE TOP 10
If I could behead you, video it, and put you on THEYNC, I would. All you do when you start making progress is piss me off. Nothing aspires progress like hate. It’s this writer’s opinion, and that of others, that HATE is the STRONGEST of all motivational emotions. It allows you to accomplish anything. It’s like an adrenaline-inspired emotion. When you try to compete with me, you invoke an adrenaline-overdosed demon. You create hate. Just when you thought that I was done with my campaign, I will GLADLY double/triple/quadruple my budget for new content generation and campaign advancement to make sure that you don’t succeed. At this point, my goal is to make sure you fail.
DOUBLE JEOPARDY, ALEX
Not only do you have to conjure up the motivation to succeed, and do it with such tenacity as to compete with me, but now you have me trying to make you fail with the SAME tenacity. Matter of fact, my approach to make you fail is more mature than your attempt at getting psycho. I’m a pro. You’re just learning.
You won’t have a boss looking over you and that’s your disadvantage. You see, it would be one thing if you were at a place of business, say APPLE, and that boss, say STEVE JOBS, went psycho on you and forced you to over-achieve. This is the standard. But what if you worked at home? What if I knew you didn’t have a Steve Jobs to motivate you? What if *I* was my own Steve Jobs. What if I watched videos of Steve and modeled my own motivation after his? Have fun competing with that. You will fail. It’s your only option.
CHECK OUT THE BIG BRAIN ON BRAD
So, Mr. Smarty Pants, you’re trying to pounce my shit? You’ve just conjured up “the psycho in me.” A normally kind, generous, helpful gent that will help grandmas succeed just turned into the most scary, relentless terminator that you can imagine. Allow me to quote from scripture, paraphrased slightly (The Terminator)
“He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep. And he absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are gone.”
I liken myself to how birds fight with each other and how ants dismember their prey when I judge how to punish you. Peck your eyes out. Dismember you. Whatever. As long as you suffer, I win. I want it so you associate pain with your campaign. This works. Everytime.
Not only do I meet the minimum, not only do I go over the minimum, not only do I go to MAXIMUM, I go to Level 11, where you cry to your mommy, “Please God make him stop.”
I will never stop. I will never quit. No matter what. Not ever.
You can’t compete with psycho.