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Google Bullshit Captcha (pronounced ˈkæptʃə’)

By King Douche | May 10, 2010

“kæptʃə?” Thanks, for that.  It really helps.  I thought it was pronounced “ΣσςΔδ.”  My bad.

Now, after I started this post, I found a similar post of all Bullshit Captchas lists.  While that list is now a bit dated, it’s still pretty good.  In that post, there are some serious captchas and some obvious jokes. I don’t want to spoil it, but here is a preview:Google Bullshit Captcha (pronounced ˈkæptʃə)

Google Bullshit Captcha (pronounced ˈkæptʃə) Google Bullshit Captcha (pronounced ˈkæptʃə)

Yes.  They think you are very smart.  This flies in the face of all consumer marketing.

Google Bad Password Gmail CAPTCHA

Google Bullshit Captcha (pronounced ˈkæptʃə)
You have to be a fucking savant to solve some of these perplexing puzzles.  It’s got to the point where I dread the challenge.  I never thought that I would be intimidated by a password recovery process but Google puts up a monster fight sometimes.

“Letters are not case-sensitive.”

Well fuckin’ thanks Googz.  Why not just include characters from Zapf Dingbats why you’re at it?  Who can solve this shit? Google is supposedly geared for the masses, right?  Grandma’s supposed to crack this shit?  Bitch can barely see much less cock her head the required degrees laterally to attempt to decipher this Enigma competitor.

“Dosisbalmi?”  What the hell?  (nope, that wasn’t correct)

“Dosisba” + “Lockness monster silhouette” + “mi?”

I gave up on that one and will try again tomorrow after a lot of coffee and I’ll cycle through a few.  I think I’ll get it next round.

Got a link to a supreme bullshit captcha? Paste it in the comments below.  Or Don’t.

Topics: Non-SEO BS | 9 Comments »

Posted on 10 May 2010 by King Douche

has written 12 articles for SEO Bullshit

  • http://www.eknowwaytions.com/ Sascha

    Man. It's Google! They know what you want! How could you even think of complaining? Guess that might even get you kicked out of the index. Immediately!

    And actually I think there's a hidden secret message in all Google captchas. Something like “bing sucks”.

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  • Swed Dabest

    In the wrong trade Bro… ur a born comedian, for sure… “… this Enigma competitor.”, “Dosisba” + “Lockness monster silhouette” + “mi?”, and grandma story = just hilarious!

  • 123randomname

    It absolutely is bullshit. I hope the people invented the captcha thing die a long painful death… same goes to their families …and the retarded bitches who disagree with my statement. So… Fuck captcha!!!

    Ha-Ha!!!

  • Cjgrrl

    its so annoying. my google page at work tells me excess traffic is coming in blah blah bore me into a fucking coma blah and to type in the captcha whatever capctha cha cpachaptac. 

  • Swed Dabest

    Google gone from bad to worse since about 3-4 years now. The Bullshit Captcha is sure annoying but just a small detail in the overall degeneration. I remember when search results were few but relevant or you had a message telling you that there were no match. Nowadays, I get huge amounts of results that are mostly outdated or not at all relevant to my search. Google have become an inverted Robin Hood; stealing from the poor consumers to give to the already wealthy… companies! Google should be taken down!