By WojKwasi | June 12, 2012
From time to time (every day), the SEOs of this world get inundated with kind offers from prospective companies proposing to help them do their jobs by alleviating some of the tasks they must undertake in their daily grind.
I’ve compiled some useful tips to help any budding spa-*cough* special ops email marketer put together an excellent email guaranteed to get maximum return on inboxment:
- Don’t address the SEO personally – That is for suckas – instead, use something generic like “Hi”, “Hello”, “Greetings Sir and/or Madam” or sometimes leave in a variable so they really know you mean business, e.g. “Hi first-name$,”.
- Forget about grammar – In fact, this is crucial in making you sound legit. Ensure that no effort is made whatsoever to spell-check. Mixing tenses is highly recommended. Promise things that happened in the present & don’t look back! Run-on sentences are good too. All of these things help promote your quality assurance skills.
- Make an impact- Choose from the following introductions:
- “I will like to make small introduction about our company which will help you in selecting us as your trusted SEO Outsourcing Partner.”
- “It’s fact: more people find out about your business on Facebook or Twitter than on search engine.”
- I am “<Enter your name>” – I am an <Enter your special powers>.(e.g. I am Boris – I am an Executive.)
- Be direct – Tell us what we do – we don’t know. If it wasn’t for people like you we’d be sitting around at our desks firing rubber bands at random objects & possibly insulting insects as they randomly pass us by.
- Turn up the volume – Write with CAPSLOCK ON. It’s not like you’re next door and can “skate”-on by… you are on the other side of the globe & yelling through your virtual megaphone is fine. Besides, how else could we really catch what you’re throwing?
- Don’t be afraid to use colour – Imagine Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory without colour – oh noes! How dull. Ensure that your email stands out by colouring every second line. Bonus points for alternating colours at the letter level, e.g. Google. This helps with integrity too.
- Point out the bleeding obvious – Most SEOs don’t really understand what they do or how to do it so it’s important to explain in layman’s terms how to do SEO. Bonus points awarded for guaranteeing to rank #1 for numerous keywords!
- Keep us on our toes- Randomly throw in a full stop mid-sentence to check that we’re paying attention to your thoughtful prose that has been carefully constructed for our reading pleasure. It also leaves us hanging for more. A fine example: “I was surfing through your website and realized that despite having a good design.” What? What did you realise?? C’mon man… I got to know!!
- Don’t include a website link – We don’t want to see any credentials – we take your word, seriously. Also, not having/including a website demonstrates a confidence in your own ability so great that it literally sends shivers down our spines.
- Chase hard – If at first you don’t succeed, leave it 5 minutes and try again. SEOs love this and will most likely want your babies if you follow up in rapid succession.
You now have the perfect recipe to construct an indestructible email guaranteed to add value to everyone’s day and most importantly… inbox. You have also increased your chances of being considered as a candidate.
I hope you didn’t think any of this was serious… Just consider an alternative approach altogether to get people’s attention to hire you such as what these guys (Grinter + Spencer) did when they hijacked some domains:
…or Emiland, who used Slideshare to land a job:
…otherwise you’re going straight to the trash can!
I’ve taken the liberty of drafting an email that I encourage you to use when replying to an email that lands in your inbox, of this nature. Simply reply with the below & help our little friends become better at prospecting:
Our inbox is currently full but please read this post - http://bit.ly/MozxFw for some tips on finding SEO work